iphone user: *minding his own business*

android user: AHH look what we got here, another Apple Fanboy!

iphone user: im not really a fanboy

android user: let me guess, you just came back from snapchatting steve jobs's grave

iphone user: hey man thats in poor taste

android user: good luck getting your $300 jizz box to do what my Samsung G4TMX can *pulls out very large phone*

iphone user: it's quite large

Android user: you should see the stylus. it's a legit pencil! *tries to grab stylus, drops massive phone, it falls and lands on a chipmunk, breaking its neck*

iphone user: oh my god!

android user: oh my god is right! *picks up samsung* not a scratch on it. now thats some good engineering