iphone user: *minding his own business*
android user: AHH look what we got here, another Apple Fanboy!
iphone user: im not really a fanboy
android user: let me guess, you just came back from snapchatting steve jobs's grave
iphone user: hey man thats in poor taste
android user: good luck getting your $300 jizz box to do what my Samsung G4TMX can *pulls out very large phone*
iphone user: it's quite large
Android user: you should see the stylus. it's a legit pencil! *tries to grab stylus, drops massive phone, it falls and lands on a chipmunk, breaking its neck*
iphone user: oh my god!
android user: oh my god is right! *picks up samsung* not a scratch on it. now thats some good engineering